I follow a Bob Ross painting tutorial with only audio


Kay, it’s on We are…… *silence* *flashback mary moment* …… {oof how’s your day?} *silent gasp* i thoUGHT I sAW a faCE riGHT baCK tHErE i gOT rEaLLy sCarED foR a seCOND oH mY gOD *HaH HaH* [laura leech language] calm the fuck down (you gay bit-) I was originally going to film this video tomorrow morning. But I just got a post on my door saying they’re gonna do a FIRE ALARM tEsTiNg ALL DAY TOMORROW! (yaaay!) (this happened last year 3-5 times in my school in only one month) From 9am to 5pm ON HALLOWEEN TOO BItCc oN HAlloWEen WHaT tHE fuCc? mAC! I know there’s a video of Jenna Marbles turning herself into a toothbrush (kermit leave marbles alone) Now as we know the rules of stan Twitter I have made multiple toothbrush jokes on my channel (if you know what he means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) *inserts tuna miigoose toothbrush meme* That means now I fully 100% own the rights to toothbrushes around the world (veronica wang, sas asmr, & N.E Lets Eat are S H O O K) like that’s how stan Twitter works right? right. I made toothbrush jokes *inserts tina flopgoose* I now own the rights to an entire product that’s been around since… Jesus was born? {pretty much} (YE YE) How old is Jesus? {very old…} (but he ded so ye) Is he still alive? Can we facebook him? (he doesn’t even know what youtube is) Jenna Marbles stole my brand! *prays to god* So I’m gonna steal Jenna Marbles brand! (he became a soundcloud rapper now) point blank serious. *FAST ZOOM* Period? serious. What is happening? (you drank tap water and it made you gay, and now you’re a mess and now you’re even MORE gay as hecc) Jenna Marbles made a video where she was following a Bob Ross painting tutorial video. And I was like “that seems cool, I’m gonna do that.” My friend Ryan was like “dO iT!” SO I was like “yEaH!” So Today I’m doing that! I am following a Bob Ross painting. sHii+! {gay pause} [silence] *he’s on tap water again* Kay. But instead of just following it like a normal person would do When they’re trying to be nOrMal…? (PFFTT WHAT IS NORMAL I LITERALLY HAD DIARRHEA IN MY PANTS IN 3RD GRADE) I decided instead of just following Bob Ross, Why don’t we only listen listen tO hIm?!?! {cue gaga} T That make sense? Today we are following just the audio of a Bob Ross video Kablowey Kaboombo Kabam But here’s the thing! Never seen a Bob Ross video before And also never painted in my life, so… {bruh he ain’t a real gay} (no he isn’t RICH LUX WHERE ARE YOU WE NEED U TO CANCEL HIM V-V) I’m just kinda expecting my gayness (no it’s gaygaynessness) to overpower all of my senses And just make me this like super creative individual… You know gays, like we- like we’re creative people (straight people only play fort nit then) That’s our stereotype! That is what we are known for!! I should be perfect at this! You know painting? Van Gogh painted…. WAS VAN GOGH A GAY?? WAS VAN GOGH AN aRTIST??? {yes} wAit a minute did he do music {no} What happened??? Wh- Who are these people (why are yOU taLkiNG aBoUt tHeM tHeN???? HMMMMM) Old time white people I don’t know, they get jumbled up in my head half the time Is that racist? That’s kinda racist {you’re black mac you get a free pass} (yes he does because he does and because he’s gay) In preparation I have bought 33 piece artist ACRYLIC painting set 33 piece? Why do you even need 33 pieces to paint? (because…art) wait a minute Oh it counts every single thing an individual piece bitcc, bItCc Just say painting kit, Bitcc Why you gotta say 33 pieces, like we don’t give a shii+ how many pieces are in a painting kit You got a brush? You got paint? You got a canvas? So lets do this okay lets get this over with ALSO My air conditioner still broken so you gonna see this face far more wet then you probably ever wanted to in your entire life OKAY (it’s okay my face is much more oiler then yours so ye haw) BAM AND BAM WOOOW Y’all cant even see it WhoA sHii+! It comes with the C O L O R W H E E L whaa haaaa what the FUCC is that? “simply select a color from the”- oh this is so much reading I give up {tbh same} Setting up is probably gonna be very boring so as I do this enjoy this slideshow of Women laughing at salad Cause that is what *breathe* they do…. {vegan silence ensues} {Yes us women laugh at our salads before eating it, it adds that extra flavor} I don’t eat salad on a normal basis if you can’t tell SO I don’t know what exactly women do or anybody does in general with salads in the first place I think you’re supposed to put it in your mouth but then at the same time my fat azz {fear of healthy food intensifies} Here we go!
Here it is! There it is! BAM! BAM BAM!! We did it! Wait no there’s still plastic give me a second We’re here! Why are there so many brushes? Do we really need this many brushes? WHAt? Also got a cup of water (tap water or purified water?) ’cause I don’t know if you need that to paint All I’ve ever painted in my life was water paint Water color? Water painting? What is it called? I never like actually painted painted before so i don’t know if you need water for paint? Or if the paint is just supposed to like stay on there …… *gasp* Is that why there’s so many brushes? WaiT A MinUTe Also what is this? Like what is Who are you? Am I supposed to put the paint in this? This where it’s supposed to live? Like how Do I think you’re supposed to like …….. ……………that’s not what it’s for but um k……….. {need some help mac?} {no? ok} Did I just do somethin? (no) It’s cancelled (rich lux copyrighted this word lol jk #pranked), it’s cancelled. We’re putting it back We’re just gonna start this
We’re just gonna go Should I do “IslANd in THe WilDErnEsS” (soundcloud rapping) “RefLeCTionS oF caLM” (still rapping) “In thE MiST of wInteR” (wow) “SunSEt AglOw” (misandrists wait what) “IslANd in THe WilDErnEsS” it has 11 million views That means if I put it in the title of this video the SEO is gonna go up “Yay!” {artsy intro music} *he be gay dancing* {mac lowkey finds a new bop} {bobble head mac} {yes we can} What an intro BR: Hello, I’m Bob Ross. {mac is focused} HeY, BobBY BEE~~ Bobby Boo boo {mac attempts to speak alien lingo} What does he look like??? oh, exactly how I thought he did. Okay! BR: We’re using about a dozen colors with some unorthodox brushes.*and says something else* wat? wHAt?? A dozen color with unorthodox brushes. {gay confuse} They religious? {…sure lmao} Is this an unorthodox brush? {nope} What is an unorthodox brush?? I don’t know what that means! Should I google? Or should I just like… not care? I’m NOT going to care. Let’s do that. {wise decision} BR: “Let’s get started. Today we’ll have ’em run all the colors across the screen right there-” {two seconds in and gay boi is already confused lol} well FUCC *he laughs* I don’t know… What?? Okay, so it was WILDERNESS with, like, water. We’ll take Cobalt. Then with some Green. Maybe some yellow. I don’t know. Let’s just use ALL the colors, actually. Let’s just use all of them. BR: “Today, I’m using an 18 by 24 inch, double-primed, pre-stretched canvas but you use whatever size you’d like.” BR: “And I’ve just covered the entire canvas with a very thin coat of liquid white.” BR: “Liquid white is designed just to make the canvas wet and slick-” Okay. Thank you, Daddy! Liquid white. To cover the canvas. To make it… WET {doin a gay confuse} Why am I so scared?? k white. WHEEEEEEE… OKAY! Wow this is so boring *Hahh Haha* Does it have to be wet, Bob? Like I get it… Being wet is a good thing sometimes. To certain body parts… {lmao mac wtf} *amazing video totally not demonetized 👌👌👌* Kids, don’t google anything I say in this video at all actually. (oops i actually did once) I’m just gonna like whizz it onto the canvas? *laddydyd gagag* there we go. There we GO BR: “So, let’s get started. Let’s start with a little 2-inch brush” BR: “and a touch of the alizarin crimson” BR: “and we just load a little but right into the bristles.” *gay confuse* wHAt?? What is a 2-inch brush??? Crimson, right? And I got crimson, bitcc! *laugh* yOu’Re A pAiNtEr NOW! WOOOOOOOOOO hello? Don’t mind me, just being the next Picasso Did Picasso paint? {yes} Or did he make music? {no} I don’t- there’s so many people BR: “Tap the bristles firmly to assure a nice even distribution of paint all the way through the bristles.” *tap tap tap* BR: “And let’s go right up here. And we’ll take this old brush and just making little X’s, little criss-cross strokes” {artistic gay despair} BR: “maybe we’ll have a little pink in the sky. I sorta like that.” BR: “It doesn’t take too long when you’re using a brush that’s 2 inches wide” Yeah!! BR: “we’ll go right into, right into a little phthalo blue. ” BR: “I like phthalo blue. It’s a very warm blue.” wHAt? Am I doin it, daddy? love my X’s, bish? The only exes I’ve got! aaahh nobody dates me! {same mac D:} (guCCI) Is this it? Am I going off?? What’s happening here??? (you’re gay…painting) he wanted some blue, right? We’re giving it some blue We’re giving it that blue blue *that BLOOPBLOOP what???? BR: “using our little criss-cross strokes. We’ll just apply a little bit of the phthalo blue” BR: “Now, the blue is many many times stronger thank this little pink area-” sure BR: “if you wanted to make the indication of a happy little cloud” BR: “all you do is just sorta tap. Little stringy cloud just lives right there in the brush” {lost gay boi is doing his best} BR: “let’s have some water on this painting” BR: “i LoVe WaTeR” BR: “Very easy to paint in this style. Still water is always level.” {somebody help him} What!? BR: “outside in” Outside? BR: “Something about like so.” BR: “I’ma darken the corners. I’ma take a little prussian blue BR: “And just add it in the corners here.” BR: “and a little bit up there…” Colors are mixing on the brush, so… this is water. Water’s here. That’s water… BR: “just putting a little Prussian blue in each corner. And then…” BR: “the most fun part of this whole technique. These are OIL paints…” {oh shit lmao} Oil paints, bish!? Is there a difference?? I thought I was being smart gettin acrylic! Am I supposed to paint with oil?? What does that even mean???? BR: “shake off the excess-” *tapping* {I’ve been waiting for this moment lmao} BR: “and just beat the devil out of it. That’s really the most fun part-” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) What the FUCC WAS THAT!?? What did he just do!?!? What just happened?? (he was shaking the brush…) “beat the devil out of it”?? What did- wHaT?? that’s not the noise! What is happening here?? k whatever, screw it, the devil is beat BR: “we’ll start in the light area, which is the pink. And we’ll blend it all together.” BR: “something about like so. That’s all there is to it. Down here…” (you’re trying…) BR: “It’s that easy…Put a little masterpiece on their canvas, with just a little practice.” YEP!! BR: “Take a little white, little bit of blue. I wanna make a light blue color here but mostly phthalo blue.” BR: “take the corner of the brush, and just pull down.” {our favorite crackhead literally pulls down the brush lmao} BR: “I wanna make it look like little distant trees-” OH!! On the- on the CANVAS! {there you go mac} BR: “in your world, you create any illusion that you want.” (WHY IS IT PURPLE THO???) BR: “I wanna keep the bottom light, so it looks like mist.” BR: ” You could even take another 2 inch brush and have several *tapping noise* BR: “get in there and tap it and then lift upward.” {that’s one way to do it, i guess?} I see it!! BR: “sometimes it’s a lot of fun to put several layers. It helps create depth in your painting” {as an art student, I’m in pain lol} BR: -it didn’t matter at this point. honestly?? *noises* (Mac can’t handle the Ross, he has gone so far off the rails he ain’t coming back) *Gay despair* oKaY!!1 There’s like 20 minutes left of this video and I’m hoping it turns into something, bitcc. BR: let’s have some more fun {Oh!?} Okay, wait1!! Hold up we need black now?? NOW we’re including the black. K great Some black and some blue. {pression??} blue iT’s FuCcInG bLuE {This video is so messy and I’m living for it} Green, bish???? omg BR: -and a little white OMG!! BR: -then wipe the old knife off {omfg} knife?? a what?? BR: -and just draw it lightly upward. LiGhTlY BR: something like so. A little white, and lift upward {Call it abstract and slap a price tag on it} BR: just let your imagination take you anywhere you wanna go {uh oh} It’s taking me somewhere ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) {mac is actually concentrated, love how you tries sweetie, go you} didn’t even know I needed to have vision in the first place! {gradual gay confusion} Every color, bish!! BR: -wipe off the knife What’s a knife??? {it’s ok mac artists are always constantly confused while making art, even if it’s good lol} {another transition of confused mac} {gay boi paints many colors but it’s just PURPLE lmao} BR: -just sorta back and forth. It’s like makin’ Z’s, the letter Z. BR: We call them Z trees *i’m in pain rn* (new caption editor) BR: so we have a family of trees A family!?? BR: we don’t make mistakes here. We have happy accidents {tell that to my parents…} {from lesbian caption editor} (gay painful laugh) (from old caption editor) z. Z. Z!! Bish! BR: let’s just pop in the indication of some little bushes that live down here {save him, save the helpless confused queer} BR: -a little dark sienna {oh mac is so lost he finna say something real quick} dafuq is a sienna?? What color is a sienna!?? bish you want dirt? We’re going BROWN {cue gaga} I don’t give a shit! We’re just going brown! {more gaga} BR: -a little bit of soil. Let’s just being laying in a basic shape here -tree lives right there BR: while I got the brush going BR: You have to decide what lives here, how far it goes, how tall- I’M TRYING!!! D: {everything gradually grows aggressively confusing} {panics in homosexual} YELLOW!? Why is there so many colors!!? (but you’re gay bruh) BR: now I wanna put some leaves here, just the corner of the brush jUsT tHe CoRnEr Of ThE bRuSh~ BR: when I go home, the only powder I have is over the garbage. I can take it to the street all by myself Can you not cook, bish!? BR: let’s get crazy {mac does a gay panic} BR: if you put this in the (I dont even know what he is saying but papa mac is shookeith) BR: doesnt matter Mac is Gay confused and so am i BR: every green(or trees) are normally darker that zoom in doe br: look at all the dark areas (we stan a confused queen) …… BR: the base of the tree should be darker than the top- {y’all can see mac losing his last 3 brain cells at this point} BR: let’s take a little bit- {wait for it} BR: -of color! {confused queer zoom-in 2.0} wHAT COLOR!?!? (wheezing) BR: -these happy little bush lives right there- {I mean… he’s getting close} nope 😀 BR: Take the little oval(?) brush dip it some paint thinner(?) *what the frig?* WhAt??? *gay confused heccary* okay *still confused* okay *exTReMeLY confused* okay ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͠°) BR: I catch a little fish and take the hook carefully BR: out of his mouth and put a band-aid on him, little CPR {wHat???} *tf* *gets more confused* *doesn’t know what to do* *wants to leave but needs the money* i doN’T tHiNk tHATS’ HOW fiSHING WORKS *cough laugh(?)* BR: “Around the edge to the top…it’s most important” *wants to give up* BR: -a little tree died and his naked now, just a skeleton- *mac gets weirded out* *what the frig are am i doing? why did i agree to this?* *but the the purple mac can we talk about that???????????????* ye ye BR: -a finished painting. {wait what???} *success???* *awkward gay silence* {it kinda looks like the bisexual flag??} *is relieved from all the gay confusion and gay stress you made it through gay comrade #RESPEKT weLP *BWHahHa* bitcc i was focused (no you were confused lol) don’t know what I was focusing for bEcAUSE i DoN’t knOW WHAt dA hEK diS iz supP0SEDZ tO bE I can see the wilderness You can kind of–okay but like lowkey lowkey on the view finder, this lowkey looks like it’s a BOP this does not look like i was playing (…) like this this looks like I just showed up real quick but in person… *yeah lets talk about the purple LOL* *wants this to end* yOU SHOULDN’T SHOW UP EITHER I mean-it kind of-like you can like see *gay silence* that i probably need help (si (yes)) but it’s like- it’s an attempt. It’s an attempt. {???} did i?? i did it i did it myself (we love a confident kween ^0^) maybe…??? I’m proud??? Oh, well, it’s looks NOTHING like that but go off (oh well) like if I was standing at the back of a painting class and couldn’t see the professor this is like a solid B- y’know??? {welp, A for effort amirite???} I dunno I’ve never taken art before so I dunno how they grade shit {how does one grade art tho??? that’s the question} I’m proud of myself {yass we stan a confident queer} y’know what, I did something… {gaga outro} {*bob ross has left the chat*} uuhhh…. {same mac} comment down below!! was this worth your time?? my name’s Mac and don’t forget to like, comment, share and subscribay! BWAAAAGH!!! BWA- ROSS!! :DDD {oof honey} {needs some water??} {tap water maybe???} {has existential crisis} {questioning life} {need a hug child?} {or tap water?? no?} {breathes} k {outro music plays} {some of mac’s and most of BR’s dialogue captioned by yours truly aka lesbian caption editor} {all the funny ones were made by other people lol} {there was alrdy a new and old caption editor so…} {so yeah, it’s been fun} {subtitles are hard af but it was worth it} {plus mac the crackhead was hilarious and fun to caption lmao} {peace out muah!!!}

Dereck Turner

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