A Black Lady Sketch Show | Chris and Lachel: Exit Row (Full Sketch) | HBO

♪ I’m a D boy, I’ll tell you
What the meaning is ♪
CONTINUES) ♪ Sir, are you willing
and able to assist in case of an emergency? (CAMERA CLICKS) -Sir.
-Babe. -Huh?
-The lady. Are you willing
and able to assist in the event of an emergency?
I just need a verbal “yes.” Oh, yup. -Sorry, I need a verbal yes.
-Bet. -Yes.
-Babe, just say “yes.” No doubt. Okay, um, what about you, ma’am. Are you willing
and able to assist in the event of an emergency? Babe, listen to this. (CHUCKLES) Hold on.♪ Nigga, bop, bop, bop! ♪-Miss?
-♪ ‘Cause we never ever stop! ♪
-It’s good, right?
-Yeah, it is. -It’s good. It’s good.
-Yes. I wrote that in eighth grade. LACHELLE:
I know. I remember. I was there. ATTENDANT: Are you willing
and able to assist in the event of an emergency? -What emergency?
-A hypothetical one. Okay because we don’t have time
for an emergency because we are on our way
to our honeymoon. -(GIGGLES) Yes! Yes!
-ATTENDANT: Congratulations. And we will take off
just as soon as you confirm that you are willing
and able to assist. Okay, like, I’m currently able, but what if I become unable
over the course of the flight because anything can happen,
you don’t know. Okay, well, you too don’t have
to sit here. Ooh! Rude! Wow, the rude jumped out of you,
didn’t it. Okay, let me ask you this.
Do we get to exit first and do I get to take
my home girl with me? Sir, are you ready to provide
a verbal yes? I mean, I felt like I said that. -Yeah.
-You know it. Okay, so what do you say? Yerp. -Yes.
-Yam. -Yes.
-Yeah, mon. -Yes.
-Yodel. -Yes.
-(SQUEAKS) Yam! -That was just a sound.
-Yeah. Yes. Ye…t. Does this even work? Ma’am, could you please
not do that? ‘Cause you over here
talkin ’bout– Ma’am, can you not do that? Uh, excuse me. Let me ask you one more thing.
How much does this job pay? Well, it’s not a job.
It’s volunteer. -Do I get free pretzels?
-That’s a good question, babe. -Do I get a blanket?
-Right? ‘Cause y’all don’t want
to give out blankets no more -and it’s crazy.
-What about pretzel blankets? You know we got married? -The statistics of black men
getting married aren’t good.
-It’s real low. So you really need to treat him
with some respect. -Thank you, baby.
-‘Cause we have been very… -…above the odds.
-That’s right. I will relocate both of you
to middle seats in the back of the plane
unless I get a verbal yes. Yay, yay! Got it! And you ain’t gon’ move nobody. Sorry, my seat’s in the back. Ooh yes! You know what? I’ll take it.
Yep, sir. Get on up. I’m moving you
to the seats in the back. I was just playin’. It’s fine. Go to the back.
I’ll see you when we get there. I’ll see you when we get there. -All right.
-All right. I love you. Stop playin’. We are on a plane.
Stop, we on a plane! Stop! (GIGGLES) Sir, hi, would you like
an exit row seat? -There’s lots of legroom.
-Yeah, sure. -Come on up.
It’s my boo, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Do you agree to assist
in the event of an emergency? Oh, yes. I do. Look at God. You be knowin’, Jesus. -How you doin’?
-Good. Oh, now you– now you doin’
askin’ questions, Lachelle? Now there’s
a fake Tyson Beckford-lookin’– Chadwick Bloseman nigga up there
with you? -Yeah.
-Huh? -Speak up!
-Baby, please. Could you stop because this is
a very nice airline? -Uh-huh.
-And I don’t want
to get kicked off. So, if you could stop yellin’,
that’d be nice. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. This nigga where camo like me?
This nigga got a beard like me? Oh, he does?
All right, I’ma sit down. I got another question. Listen. If two trains leave Pittsburgh
at six o’clock, -right?
-Yeah. One’s carrying apples
and one’s carrying oranges– When this nigga
gonna get out my seat?!

Dereck Turner

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