7 Habits That Helped Me Get My Life Together | The Art of Letting Go


Hey friends, welcome back! Since I’ve been making lot of vlogs, and I’m all about spicing up my content, I thought I’d go back to basics, and talk about 7 mindset habits that changed my life. Waking up early, drinking water, having a routine, Working out, meditating … I feel like most people talk about that, What people don’t talk about enough, Or what I don’t see enough online is More so mental habits, cause I feel like, If you can get this right, If you can take yourself out of living in your own head And actually be able to engage with the world around us I think that is … probably, one of the most important things That we can do for ourselves. And for every point I’ll be giving you guys a couple of resources Via books, articles, podcasts … Kdramas, online learning courses. That helps, you know, you can do further research/learning with all of this. Thank you so much to Skillshare for sponsoring this video, If you guys have been here for a while, you know they’re my favorite online learning community. The courses that I’ll be referencing will be from Skillshare, And they are sooo amazing, they’re so amazing! And if after watching this video, like “hm, I want to give Skillshare a try” You can sign up with the link in the description box below to get a two-months free trial. And without further ado, let’s get started. Yeah. I think in life, The decks are stacked against every single one of us. I don’t think anyone has it better or easier than the other person. We all suffered, we all go through things that are seemingly unfair. And I’m sure every single one of us, by this point, Have at least gone through one very very very painful And seemingly unjust and completely unfair event in their lives. For me, it was losing my older brother when he was 19, about ten years ago. When that happened, when anything like this happens, When you experience a sudden loss, when you experience anything that is a shock to your system, There’s two ways to deal with it : We can go down the path of least resistance Complain, feel like the world is an unfair place. And if there’s a God, why would God do something like this? And that’s like the path of least resistance, right? I really wanted to take full responsibility of myself and my life and go down that path with resistance because I knew that this path, although there will be a lot of struggle, although there will be a lot of suffering and pain, that ultimately, it will lead me closer to where I know I want to be. Cause the alternative would just be… (Silence) I would be doing absolutely nothing. Thinking life isn’t fair, comparing our lives to those around us… having this like, deep resentment or anger that our lives should be so much better than where it currently is… What I learned over time was that no matter how much I did any of those things that I just said, it’s not going to get me closer to where I want to be so what can I do instead? Taking responsibility… To me really just means, being really honest with yourself and putting in the work to become the person you know you’re capable of being. And this takes time, and that’s okay! It’s a part of the process and it’s part of the journey. But I think the first step is that heart, that desire of wanting to take responsibility of your life. And when that heart and when that desire comes out, the universe is watching! And the universe will start helping you, guide you to where you need to go! 🙂 So a couple of questions you can ask yourself is: “How can I take maximal responsibility for my own life?” and “how can I be a better person?” So these really are (questions) that you can only answer for yourself. I made a video… I’ll link up here, of how to write your life together with three writing prompts. A really good Korean drama that just perfectly shows how you take responsibility of your life is ‘Mr.Sunshine.’ Favorite drama series of all time. All the characters had such harsh (lives) and their childhoods are so, so, so sad, filled with so much suffering but, they all came together for this greater good, and they all took responsibility of their own lives in their own unique ways. And… I would highly recommend that! It gave me a lot of inspiration. There’s a Skillshare course called, “Drawing as Self Discovery: 5 Ways to Start” The instructor used drawing and doodling as a way to… (Dat struggle tho Ro) -heal herself after a breakup, followed by a sudden passing of her father, followed by discovering she may have some cancer cells in her body, and she used this drawing as self-discovery and as a way of self-care. So, this is a very awesome course, and it’s gonna be… It’s all gonna be linked down below. “The Buddha’s main thesis was that in a world where everything is constantly changing, we suffer because we cling to things that won’t last.” This, to me basically just means: letting go of all the things that are not essential in your life. So I talked in my previous videos about how I was very wild when I was younger so I did a lot of drinking, I did a lot of socializing… My priority at that time was… part of it was trying to figure out who I was, where I was going with my life but the other part of it, the bigger part, was I wanted to distract myself. So I distracted myself with drinking. I distracted myself by going out. I distracted myself with being in a relationship. And… That led me down a very dark, sad path. Having come out of that, I was like, “Okay. What are my priorities?” My priorities are: my spirituality, My priorities are my family, and my priorities are work. So these three things became my priority and I essentially trimmed down everything else. What you guys see in my vlogs is essentially what my life is. I really don’t go out. Now I’m trying to incorporate more socializing, and networking, and connecting with people in real life, into my life. But for the past I would say, two-three years, I did minimal. Minimal of that (social life). I mean, what they say is true. If you want to be successful at something, you’re going to have to make some sacrifices and… I made sacrifices in that social aspect of my life. So to talk about attachments really quickly: we attach ourselves to things because it feeds a part of us. It feeds a part of our ego. When we talk about letting go of these attachments, the reason why it’s so painful is because we’re essentially letting go of– letting go of a part of us. You’re letting go of a perception of us that we’ve created in our own heads. And to be able to do that, it takes a lot of… Like, inner work is hard! It’s painful, right? So, that whole process is not easy. But to be able to get onto the other side and to be able to live more peacefully and be far more grounded… this is what I mean by letting go. And when you let go of things, it’s not that you don’t care about those things anymore It’s not like you can’t be friends and be in relationships anymore. It just means, you’re being very, very mindful and intentional with everything that you do. And you’re not doing things because these attachments are feeding a part of you that should not be fed. There are two quotes that I really like. The first one is from Marcus Aurelius. If you guys have not heard of ‘Meditations,’ it’s basically the Roman emperor’s diary. It was never meant to come out to the public, but it is and it is amazing! So one quote: “The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.” And another one is from Naval Ravikant: “A rational person can find peace by cultivating indifference to things outside of their control.” I LOVEEE love, love, love, love his podcast with Tim Ferris. There’s two of them. I’ll link both of them down below. “People tend to become what the most important people in their lives thing they will become.” I saw this quote on Tumblr way back when, when Tumblr was still poppin’ and I love this concept. 4 quarters over 100 pennies because it all adds up to a dollar, right? Growing up, I really, really, really, really wanted to collect all the pennies. I wanted everyone to know me, I wanted to know everyone, and I was chase-thing– chey-cheung (lol Ro struggles) chasing** this thing called popularity. And I very quickly realized, it doesn’t lead anywhere. It’s completely empty. So… With that over time, I slowly started to realize: instead of chasing these superficial relationships, I would rather really, really, really, really deeply get to know four people. As we grow as individuals, it’s inevitable that we outgrow… many things. I really love this quote from Felicia’s instagram bio. It’s something like, “outgrowing many things to grow from within” And I think when you grow from within, when you elevate yourself, when you grow, when you change… you create a distance between who you are versus who you were. And that distance… Is growth, right? And you’re now here (high), and if most of the people in your life are still here (low), it’s… It can create some… (distance; boundaries; etc.) You know? I think this is one of the very hard and sad truths of growing up and, just of living and of existing. But I feel like it’s very important to constantly take stock, and constantly look at who we are surrounding ourselves with because, it really does make a huge difference on your life. All the sayings of how “you are who you surround yourself with,” “you’re the product of your five closest friends,” I think that’s all true. One Korean drama that I watched recently that isn’t like ground-breaking, it’s not like, “Oh my god, it was so good!” But it’s really cute! It’s called, “My First First Love” and the male lead, his relationship with his best girlfriend, that relationship — I thought was very sweet. It’s very sweet. The way that he unconditionally takes care of her and unconditionally loves her… and how they’re just so comfortable around each other, I think that’s… It’s a really cute friendship. (You cute too Ro

Dereck Turner

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